Archive for July, 2008

July 30, 2008

bg/ish: ha HA! . . .wait…

Of course when I first heard the news that an earthquake had hit Southern California, my first thoughts were for the safety of my family and friends, ag excluded. I was secretly hoping he’d been doused in lab chemicals and obtained super powers, but as we were informed in his previous post, he remains average at best.

My second thought was something along the lines of “Thank ‘Gee-Oh-Dee’ I don’t live in Southern California any more! ha HA! I live in San Francisco. . .wait…”. Earthquakes are a nasty business around these parts. It’s best not to think about it.

I’m certainly glad to hear that there were no reports of serious injury or death. One never likes hearing about those things. In other news a 13 year old boy was charged with murder today for the gang-related shooting death of his 8 year old cousin in South Los Angeles.

* * * * *

So, Comic-Con 2008 did not happen for me. Like most of you, I am eagerly anticipating ag’s coverage of the prestigious event. So far the word out of bg/ag publishing’s Southern California office is the interns are working overtime to account for ag’s laziness, and yet little is being accomplished.

The man can be a diva and we all know of his penchant for hogging the limelight. He’ll probably milk this article for all the glory he can, and don’t be surprised if it’s publication hinges on some clause calling for a change to the company name. ag/bg publishing may very well be in the near future.

I’ve survived his fits and power trips before, so don’t expect anything less of me this time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go stop being so jealous of ag’s trip to Comic-Con and work on a post that actually has something to say instead of trashing the better half of tha Pub.

Please ag bless us with that Comic-Con goodness!

July 29, 2008

agIsh: Take me now God! I’m ready!

At 11:42am California time (the only time that really matters) an earthquake weighing in at 5.8 hit 3 miles west of Chino Hills (hills that are full of chinese people, apparently) and the resultant shake, rattle, and roll were quite exhilerating.

They’re in the process of demolishing a building next to the one I’m in and small tremors are expected from time to time. The initial shake was ignored. The rattle made us pause. The roll was interesting. I’m in my lab so the first thing that crossed my mind was “If any of the these chemicals fall on me…I will have superpowers!” No luck. I’m still me…average me. 😦

Look away! Pity me not!

Well, Comic-Con was interesting as it always is. However, that article will follow at another time. I’m far too lazy to do anything about that right now.


July 25, 2008

bg/ish: It’s Always Fun in the Beginning

Like young lovers maddened with the lust of a new relationship, the posts to this blog, aka bg/ag publishing, are coming at a furious rate. It’s to be expected.

ag warmed it up with tales of old age. The man speaks of a bad back and a bum knee, but I’ve seen him run wild through the streets of downtown San Diego with a wild hair up his ass and an angry bone to pick with any fanboy unfortunate enough to cross his path. He has the agility of mountain cat the lust for blood to match. Do not take him lightly.

* * * * * * * *

As the youth say, it’s good to be back. I admit that I had not foreseen a revival of our old ways, but ag got an itch that only a speedy return to the Interweb could scratch and so here we are. I dismantled my extensive blog that was hosted on this space prior and walked the company line.

Actually what I had been doing amounted to nothing more than a pile of pants. Literally, I was doing laundry.

* * * * * * * * *

It would be neglectful of me not to mention the latest addition to the bg/ag family, Chewbacca. Named, not for the Star Wars character, but for the lucratively successful “Chewbacca Defense” legal tactic employed by Johnny Cochran, she is an 11 week old terror from the planet Kashyyyk.

She will size you up for a few moments and then pounce on you like the villain you are. She will show no remorse as she squats to piss or shit on your hard wood floors. She will glare at you menacingly as she chews on your shoelace. She keeps the wild hours of a speed freak and her beard is a sure sign she is destined for greatness in the arts of Shaolin Kung-Fu.

I would tell you more if I didn’t fear her wrath…

* * * * * * *

Comic-Con 2008 is rapidly approaching and I fear something about the plan ag is hatching is amiss. My usual accommodation requests have not been met, I’ve been placed in the care of a driver named Sanchez who is known to frequent out of the way hotels in places like National City. He’s been tailing me for 3 days and yet he’s not scheduled to pick me up until tonight at midnight. I plan on shaking his cover tonight under the cover of darkness. The treachery of ag is afoot!

I must be at Comic-Con the gods and ag be damned!

July 23, 2008

ag/ish: Ramblings of an Old Man…

I was reminded a couple months ago that I’m 32 years old. I was devastated. It was all good knowing that I was 31; I was at least just starting the aging process. 32, however, puts me well into my 30s. That just won’t do. Physically I feel pretty beat down. I have to sit with good posture or my back has a kink in it when I stand. Stairs kill me because, not only am I out of shape thanks to my inactivity, my knees are starting to give out. Don’t get me started on my vision (my right eye is near-sighted, my left eye is far-sighted)…

Mentally I’m as young as ever. At 32 I decided to go back to school – get some education and such – and being surrounded by youngens certainly brings you down to their level, which is a good thing. You have to let a lot of your reservations go, you have to relax a bit. The alternative is to meet their expectations and be “that old guy”. Speaking of which, I’m an instructor for a physiology lab and on the subject of diffusion, I used the example of how cologne can diffuse throughout a room. For a specific example of a cologne I said CK1, which was popular back in my hayday. All of the students looked confused, probably thinking CK1 was some fancy chemical name or something. One student finally spoke up, “Oh, I think my dad wear’s that.” I played it off rather well I think. “Oh, I don’t wear CK1. I wear Bengay.”


School is my life at the moment. If I’m not thinking about school I’m thinking about girls. Let’s just say I’m glad I’m doing well in school.

This is my first contibution to these blogs, our new home. Who knows when our next entry will come. If history is any indication, probably next year. *shakes head* Hey! It’s not our fault we were born so lazy…


July 22, 2008

bg/ish: A Rebirth of Sorts…

It was a day like any other, plodding along to the rhythm of IM’s and the detached browsing of websites.

“I’m ready”, came the word from ag. Although we’d long ago established that code for circumstances surrounding a freak medical condition encountered by ag and the sponge bathing that it demanded, I shuddered off those long buried horrors and knew exactly what ag was talking about…

…he wanted to revive Tha Pub!

Could it be done? With certainty!

I’ll do Comic-Con coverage!” said ag with all the confidence of a man who had covered such an event in the past.

An event like the Comic-Con held annually in San Diego, CA is not such an easy event to cover, what with the bad intentions of fanboys and constant threat of ninja activity, but knowing that our annual coverage used to be a cornerstone of the old bg/ag publishing website I jumped on board with the idea and started to immediately assume creative control. I’d blown our entire budget in less than 3 minutes on generic prescription pills and a magazine about zoology before being slapped into submission by a rejuvenated ag with a crazed look in his slanty eyes.

“That’s funny”, I thought to myself, “ag never has an extra cup of coffee at home.”

And so the wheels are in motion. With grand ideas and visions of world domination we will once again resume our annual Comic-Con coverage, and with ag having wrested creative control away from me, if this fails miserably we will all certainly know who to blame…

If all goes as the gods have forseen, this rebirth will amount to nothing more than an aborted attempt at a legendary comeback the likes of Magic in ’96. One last fat, bloated and uncoorordiniated quest for glory! This is why we mock the gods openly and defy them to do anything about it!

We’re bg/ag publishing, or haven’t you heard?

As usual bg loves you and hates you just the same…