Archive for the ‘crap’ Category

August 31, 2009

bg/ish: I’m Addicted

I’m calling for an investigation.

This may be a cry for help.

I can’t walk away. No matter how bad I feel in the end, the euphoria of consumption is enough to override all prevailing logic. I’d kicked this terrible habit once before, but it’s slowly crept back into my life and may be in full swing once again. No matter how scummy I feel on my way to pick it up, or how certain I am of the ensuing misery that will follow once it’s all passed through my system, I continue to use.

Or rather, eat.

Damn you Del Taco. What the fuck are you putting in those spicy chicken burritos, those chili cheese fries, or those quesadillas that keeps me fienin’ like Dennis and Dee for the crack rock?!?

I suppose I’ve progressed a little. I’m no longer in denial. When I lived in Orange County, I chalked it up to convenience. After all, I lived on 18th Street, and Del Taco was on 17th Street. Oh but it was so much more than that. I’d sit in that filthy drive thru no matter how long it took, and at any time of the day or night to get my hands on that vile sustenance.

After moving to San Francisco, my fast-food intake dropped by at least 90%! Ah, I was free for months, only to discover the one, single Del Taco in the city was a mere block and a half away from my job. I held out for a while, choosing only to eat the finer offerings of the Financial District. Soon, however, poverty set in, and I knew the one place I could turn to for a lunch under $3 was only a short walk away.

“Just a taste”, I thought, which is about as effective as a deterrent as the “Just the tip” philosophy. It wasn’t long before the days of poverty had passed, and I still found myself craving the sub-human offerings wrapped in those warm tortillas. What was initially a ‘once every couple months’ outing has now become a ‘couple of times a week’ affair. Personally, I’m disgusted, and yet I can’t pull myself away.

Now, I’m nowhere near the degenerate level I’d reached living behind the miserable Orange Curtain, but as with any addiction, it’s a slippery slope. So here it is, a Monday afternoon, I just got paid, and can eat any delectable lunch my filthy heart desires, and I’ve got nothing but Del Taco on my mind.

Can we figure out what exactly is going on in those dingy kitchens? Is there some secret ingredient? Some highly addictive additive? Has anyone looked into what makes those fries so damn tasty? I need help, damn it! Is anyone planning an intervention on my behalf?

I’m staring this addiction in the face, and if you don’t believe me, as soon as I hit “Publish Post” I’m running over to Market Street and swooping up a brown bag of the nonsense they’re offering up. I’ll surely be worse off for it, but I just don’t care.

I’m addicted.

June 2, 2009

chair: drones

office work is the worst. but at least this dude made some cool art out of it —

via behance