bg/ish: How To Evade A Pit Maneuver

I get a lot of (unsolicited) emails from friends, aquantences and former co-workers in my Inbox on the daily. (Say, me say many money, say me say many many many) Pretty much next to nothing ever gets any further than that, let alone pushed out thru this blog. I’m posting this video, though, for the following reasons…

– It’s a police chase in Orange County

– I’m familiar with every stretch of road it happens on

– It’s a Scion xB, which enables me to fantasize that it’s my brother and your boy Duyu Nohu giving the proverbial “two fingers up” to those filthy cops

– And I know, what many of you may not, that your boy and mine ag loves himself some pit maneuvers

Of course, the pit maneuver doesn’t always have a 100% success rate, as is evident here. This leaves the cops with no other option than to pull out the rarely seen outside of pornographic videos, “Let’s slam this bitch from every angle at the same time” maneuver.

If only they’d used it when the crazy woman driving decided to use the “Get out of the car to curse out the cops only to leave it in drive and then have to run it down and jump back in a moving car” maneuver.

thanks Kai-Chun

bg/ish: I’m Addicted

I’m calling for an investigation.

This may be a cry for help.

I can’t walk away. No matter how bad I feel in the end, the euphoria of consumption is enough to override all prevailing logic. I’d kicked this terrible habit once before, but it’s slowly crept back into my life and may be in full swing once again. No matter how scummy I feel on my way to pick it up, or how certain I am of the ensuing misery that will follow once it’s all passed through my system, I continue to use.

Or rather, eat.

Damn you Del Taco. What the fuck are you putting in those spicy chicken burritos, those chili cheese fries, or those quesadillas that keeps me fienin’ like Dennis and Dee for the crack rock?!?

I suppose I’ve progressed a little. I’m no longer in denial. When I lived in Orange County, I chalked it up to convenience. After all, I lived on 18th Street, and Del Taco was on 17th Street. Oh but it was so much more than that. I’d sit in that filthy drive thru no matter how long it took, and at any time of the day or night to get my hands on that vile sustenance.

After moving to San Francisco, my fast-food intake dropped by at least 90%! Ah, I was free for months, only to discover the one, single Del Taco in the city was a mere block and a half away from my job. I held out for a while, choosing only to eat the finer offerings of the Financial District. Soon, however, poverty set in, and I knew the one place I could turn to for a lunch under $3 was only a short walk away.

“Just a taste”, I thought, which is about as effective as a deterrent as the “Just the tip” philosophy. It wasn’t long before the days of poverty had passed, and I still found myself craving the sub-human offerings wrapped in those warm tortillas. What was initially a ‘once every couple months’ outing has now become a ‘couple of times a week’ affair. Personally, I’m disgusted, and yet I can’t pull myself away.

Now, I’m nowhere near the degenerate level I’d reached living behind the miserable Orange Curtain, but as with any addiction, it’s a slippery slope. So here it is, a Monday afternoon, I just got paid, and can eat any delectable lunch my filthy heart desires, and I’ve got nothing but Del Taco on my mind.

Can we figure out what exactly is going on in those dingy kitchens? Is there some secret ingredient? Some highly addictive additive? Has anyone looked into what makes those fries so damn tasty? I need help, damn it! Is anyone planning an intervention on my behalf?

I’m staring this addiction in the face, and if you don’t believe me, as soon as I hit “Publish Post” I’m running over to Market Street and swooping up a brown bag of the nonsense they’re offering up. I’ll surely be worse off for it, but I just don’t care.

I’m addicted.

bg/ish: Weekend: Clothing Optional

With August coming to and end and September only a day away, it’s safe to say that it’s officially Summer here in San Francisco. Temperatures reached the 90’s on Friday afternoon, and by the time I got off work and made it to Dolores Park the scene was in full swing and it was obvious that nobody planned on going home anytime soon. We stayed in the park until around 10 p.m., but as far as I could tell people were still there until at least 5 a.m.

It was just one of those insanely warm San Francisco nights where nobody wants to be indoors. We get maybe 4 or 5 of those a year. A certain madness seems to take people over and drive them to boisterous fits of drinking and roaming the streets into the early morning hours. Personally, I just didn’t want to have any clothes on.

I was up on Saturday morning at 7 a.m., and it felt like it could have been noon. Or 3 p.m. Bright and hot. Not a cloud in the sky. After a large breakfast and a relaxing smoking session in a shady spot, we gathered up the usual crew and sped off on our bikes to Baker Beach. The heat was stifling in the Mission, but the closer we got to the water it began to relent a little.

The sand was hot under my feet and the sun was tormenting me from above. I wasted no time in jumping enthusiastically into the ocean. As I swam out past the breaking waves and floated on my back I couldn’t help but feel a bit like Mersault, only there was no Marie with me and I never got around to killing an Arab.

The view from Baker Beach is absolutely amazing. As I swam in the water, when my thoughts weren’t on surviving the assault of waves, they were solely on the majesty of the view…

Of course, Baker Beach is also a nude beach, so at any given moment, your view might be something closer to this…

As it was, your boy bg managed to keep all of his clothes on, much to the disappointment of thousands.

After a ride back to the Lower Haight and a massive burger at Memphis Minnie’s BBQ Joint I crashed out at around 7:30 and wasn’t to be heard from again until 7:30 a.m. on Sunday morning.

Sunday turned out to be slightly overcast and a bit windy, but I managed to get in a decent bike ride, and stopped by AT&T Park to catch some of the Giants sweep over the Rockies from the free viewing area at McCovey cove. Topped the night off with a slice from Deja Vu and a glass of wine at a friends house. All in all, your boy bg isn’t complaining one bit.

As of this morning it’s back to 60 degrees in the city and the heat of the weekend is a forgotten memory that seems like it could have been two days or two months ago. I know we’ll have at least one more of these days (hopefully on a weekend) before our “summer” is over.

As always, when you’re looking to have some good clean fun in the heat, clothing is optional.

agIsh: Flava In Ya Ear

Back in the day and undeniable: Hard Knock Life, Jay Z.

Festivus for the rest of us.

nv@ag

bg/ish: It’s Friday, so “Yeah, Fuck Off!”

bg/ish: I Can Has Punch In Face?!?

bg/ish: Happy Birthday?

chair: t(h)ree

one of my first and fondest memories of dw is when we both discovered our love of trees. i forgot how or when this bit of info came out, but i do remember handing him a 20$ bill for a little baggie in front of the vending machine in the breakroom of our workplace. i rarely get to just sit and session with the dude though, since when the trio gets together the goal is usually to drink until someone projectiles vomit (ahem ag).

anyway…i smoked last night for the first time in a long time (a week! haha). admist all this legal trouble, i’m being super cautious with everything. gone are the days of stashing my pink pouch in the center console of my car and smoking whenever, wherever the hell i feel like it. california, i hate you but love you at the same time. fuck you for taunting the availability and ease in my face and fuck me for not being able to take advantage of it. well, i just got some o jeezy or something and i plan on being very high up in the clouds because i’m pretty sure i have to take a longg break when the gavel hits the wood in november.

here’s what i’ve been listening to when i’m spacing.

oh how i miss trees.

agIsh: “The Jerk Store called…”

…and they said they’re running out of the guys at Sony Computer Entertainment and Rocksteady Studios.

The 120GB PS3 Slim is out this Thursday while Batman: Arkham Asylum came out today. At a time when I really shouldn’t be buying anything else, I’m seriously considering dropping cash for these two lovely items. Anyone who knows me knows I’ll do anything for Batman.

Anything.

Yes, even that.

*weeps*

nv@ag

bg/ish: “We’re the stars of CCTV”

I’d made reference to the day we bombed the grassy hills of Dolores Park in this blog before, but I admit I quite surprised to head over to Mission Mission today and see your boy bg standing atop the park next to that little kart of death.

As it turns out, some women sitting on the bench behind us were getting some of the madness on video. It’s not a terribly exciting video, although Chewie almost gets rubbed out, and although my crash goes mostly unseen, it’s apparent by the reaction of the onlookers.

Aptly titled “Life Size Pinewood Derby”, enjoy this brief clip of our insanity.