Archive for the ‘Transformers 2’ Category

October 22, 2009

bg/ish: State of the Union

And the Union is me, your boy bg.

I’ve been posting more pictures than words here lately, those of you who are slower will appreciate that. j u s t k i d d i n g…

I’ll actually be posting another set of pictures later today. But neveryoumind!

However, this is a blog, so here are some random rumblings…

* * * * *

First thing, I guess, is the new template we’ve been using for the blog. I’m not 100% sold on it. Figured I’d give it a month, and see what happens from there. But there’s a good chance it could be gone in a few days. I’m not too big on a straight reversion back to the old style either, so we’ll see. Gotta find some middle ground, incorporate aspects of both that I like maybe. Back in the old days your boy ag did all of the site design. We locked him in a room and administered lashes while he coded html. “Code faster damn you! Code harder!”

* * * * *

Somehow managed to complete the trifecta of “Movies With Absolutely Senseless Plots” a couple weeks ago. It was a summer blockbuster extravaganza via torrents and shady methods. We holed ourselves up in a bunker containing only Tecates, cigarettes, weed, humus, and deli sandwiches, and then proceeded to numb our brains and pour sand on our retinas with the likes of Transformers 2, G.I. Joe, and Star Trek. Some quick thoughts…

Transformers 2 was the worst of the three by a long, long fucking shot. In fact, it was one of the worst piles of cinematic fodder I’ve ever been privy to. It set the standard so low, I wouldn’t have considered it for my old “Movies So Bad, They’re Effin’ Rad” column. (Wow, that’s two references to the old site in one posting. How nostalgic.) Why? Cuz it was not rad, in any sense of said word! It beat you over the head with a blunt object repeatedly. That’s all that is…

I couldn’t watch it without being reminded of a story I was once told about someone having a gay sex foursome with that chump Michael Bay. Or, as my roommate said after one scene in particular, “Michael Bay just Michael Bayed all over your face.”

G.I. Joe had a few redeeming qualities I suppose. I can’t recall what they are. I only know that it didn’t make me want to drink a bottle of rubbing alcohol. I remember some action packed battles, a blatant disregard for human life, and some provocatively dressed women, but no sex. And yes, I did in fact just describe my typical weekend here in the Mission.

Star Trek, the reboot of the series or whatever, was certainly the best of the lot, and yet I can’t completely absolve it of it’s GAPING plot holes. We’re talking Sarlacc sized, man eating pits of despair type plot holes. And I would know, I’ve battled a Sarlacc first hand! But whatever, that shit was entertaining as fuck.

Kirk kicked ass. So did the Doc. Spock was a sociopath, and Scotty was the shit. Oh yeah, I also grew up suckling Star Trek movies vehemently. So what. You wanna judge me for that? I’m here to judge movies!

At any rate, JJ Abrams deserves all the credit for saving this movie from a certain death of imploding inside it’s empty, barren soul.

* * * * *

On the subject of movies, what do you get when you have Michael Mann directing Johnny Depp playing a sociopathic, tommy gun wielding maniac, and you still manage to churn out a steaming shit pile of a movie? Public Enemies, that’s what.

* * * * *

Last night, I left work at 7 p.m. I’d been working since about 8:30 that morning. I was tired, and wildly annoyed. Many incidents had incited my wrath. I’ll spare you the details.

I finally make it outside, unlock my bike, and get ready to head home. Best feeling of the day. Less than 30 seconds into the ride, my front wheel goes straight into a 6 inch hole, and I go flying head first into the air, landing on the left side of my body, hip and shoulder taking most of the impact.

The fact that I fell off my bike isn’t entirely surprising. I’ve fallen a few times now. I’m quite adept at it. The difference this time was, I didn’t see it coming. And that, is a disconcerting, wide eyed feeling. One second I was cruising along, the next I’m diving headfirst into a cement pool of hate.

Now, like I said, I’ve done the Superman before, the last time being when a skateboarder I was passing lost his shit and his board ran under my front wheel. Of course, thanks to my quick goat thinking, I saw it happening and prepped myself for the spill. I’m pretty sure that’s the better way to go down on a bike. We’re not talking “drunk survives car wreck because he doesn’t tense up” type of survival tactics working on a bike here.

And I guess that’s my point. I’m feeling pretty banged up today, although I don’t know more or less than had I seen the fall coming. What I do know, is I don’t like that “on bike/off bike” instantaneous transition, and it only served to remind me that despite our best efforts, sometimes, we can’t see everything coming.

* * * * *

I never covered this in full detail. I suppose I won’t now either. But here are some lovely emails I received in one day a few weeks ago:

To: All Staff

Our office was broken into last night. It appears they pried the 3rd floor back door open, and went through the 3rd/4th floors.

V—— has called the police and they are on the way. Please let me know ASAP if something is missing from your office/desk.

Uh huh. Both laptops on my desk. Gone.

Multiple suites within our building were broken into. I’ve also heard that multiple buildings in the area may have been hit as well.

The building was evacuated earlier because an unidentified bag was discovered in an upstairs suite. This bag turned out to be an empty laptop bag (possibly from one of our Dell laptops). Because of the security issues with a different tenant from last Friday, V—— took appropriate measures to investigate the suspicious bag in order to ensure the safety of everyone inside the building.

One of the two laptops stolen from our suite was thankfully recovered from a different floor.

Yup. My shithouse, 6 year old Mac Powerbook. The one that would have resulted in me getting a new Mac laptop had it managed to STAY STOLEN! Meh.

So, later that day…

To: All Staff

There is a bomb threat on Post street outside of Gumps. At the moment, there is not a mandatory evacuation, and the police have instructed us to stay inside the building.

Good times.

There is no mandatory evacuation yet. The police have asked us to remain in the buildings for now… in case something happens on the street, it will be dangerous to be on the street if there is any debris.


To: All Staff

This is from CBS5 as well as breaking news:

SFPD has evacuated the building at 135 Post Street and have closed Post Street between Grant and Kearny near Union Square due to a suspicious device. The bomb squad is on scene.

Burglaries, bomb threats, evacuations… will it ever end?

To: All Staff

Not official yet… but I just watched the cops remove caution tape outside and give someone in Coach a “thumbs up” sign.

I will check w/V——-, and see if we have the all clear.

By this point, I could use a drink or a bowl or a tuggie or something…

To: All Staff

There are cookies at the 4th floor kitchenette. Enjoy!


To: All Staff

FYI – Starting tonight, the building will have a security guard in the lobby from 10 PM to 6 AM every night.

Ayo! It only took two burglaries to get 24 hour security! And here’s the kicker, at the end of it all, it turns out it was the same dude as before, and he had a key to the front door.

I’d like to thank whoever had their building key stolen in the first burglary and didn’t report it to anyone. That’s heads up shit right there.

* * * * *

Fuck you This is not the same person…

* * * * *

Pick up 5: 5 Years of Hyperdub as soon as you can. I’d never advocate illegal means. Ask ag about 30 Rock.

* * * * *

“You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack… it grew by one. So there… there were two of us in the wolf pack… I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, “Wait a second, could it be?” And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!”